N O T J U S T A N O T H E R S U N R I S E
Every day is different, a particle of light, sky, ground, space and all things in between. And time as I have mentioned from all kinds of various angles and perspectives has forever changed for me. Nights can go on forever. Or a night is partitioned into many increments of time. A little sleep, a little writing, a little thinking about life and maybe even doing the dishes in the middle of the night. Yah, I never thought I would live to see the day, or night, but if they’re just sitting there waiting for the sunlight to hit the glass, well, why put it off?
Restlessness is a constant companion. I’m not sure why but it does keep me going. And the project of a life re-start so to speak has been an interesting experience. It’s given me a chance to really look at my life and look back at what is important and what has just been a waste of time. I will add to that with a hope of some valuable lessons learned.
The clouds of unsettled dust swirling up around my home and we are working hard to let it settle, but it’s not an easy task. Piles of clothes here, old stuff that will be useful to someone else over there. And then suddenly it occurred to me I heard this very loud noise that sounded like brakes on a train coming to a car crossing.
Since I was a child, I always kept cards, and letters, especially love letters. And little mementos in between. There are more than a hundred if there’s one. Each one as precious as the other. Or is it? And just when was the last time I read any of those letters and cards? Maybe once or twice. When they were delivered, and again maybe on a rainy day. Maybe. Maybe never.
So today as I watched the sunrise for an hour. Wondering which path it would be lighting up for a clue of what to do with all this paper and forgotten memories, I’ve decided to keep only the letters, of lovers who made the most impact on my life. And keep them because I know they meant something to the person who wrote them. I think that’s the last test. Did they mean something to the person who wrote them? And somehow, somewhere in time, do they still hold a little place in the heart of that special person at the time.
It’s a lovely and wonderful thing to have these mementos. To know how loved I have been from time to time. I was even asked to be a bride more than a few times. Wow! I guess I did something right, for a minute.
So many women and men are asked to just throw away their old memories, out of spite or jealousy, or some other insecure agenda that to me makes no sense. It’s all in the past. And we can’t bring back the past. We can only glimpse at it or occasionally admire it. Once thing is for certain, you wouldn’t want to live in it. I think we should all purge when we are ready, in the quite of the new sunrise. Listening to the singing birds, and turning a new page on life, clean, and crisp, ready to take on the world and make it a better place. A better place because of all the things I’ve learned in my life. And I’ll make mistakes too. Big tears will fall from sorrow and joy. All I can do is hope I’ve learned the things I’m supposed to know.
It’s another project within a project, but I have some time to spend and read…. shred….. with no regrets. Letters with just a hint of love.
Holy cow. For a minute there I thought you’d caught that full moon with the Holga in that first shot, then I realized it was the lens capturing the sky. Nice trick though! LOL.
“Purge when we are ready, in the quite of a new sunrise.” What a lovely line.
It speaks loudly of change, acceptance, freedom, and without watchful eyes hovering–a chance to let past moment set softly in your heart. To relive the beautiful moments of the past is a gift. You are allowed to see the beauty that set its eye upon you, holding you in that moment then and there. It’s a tale of the trail that’s led to this day, the one where we are shaped and formed into what was to be here and now.
You always say just the right thing to make those big tears come to my eyes and they fall like heavy honey from the spring trees. I have so much to explore inside, the most important is that I just become a better person. Learn something new every day. Just do one thing that puts a smile on someone else’s face.
Thank you for your never ending flow of kind words, deeds, thoughts…. well you know.
thanx so for sharing yr tender early moning thoughts
keep on